Strong And Yet Fragile: The Rod Martin Report Shares Some Very Sobering Things About Men That Women Especially Need To Think About

 


It seems that men can be strong and resilient and at the same time delicate and fragile and perhaps even more so than women if what a blogpost published in a publication called The Rod Martin Report says its true and if indeed what that blogpost says about men is true, it provides us some very sobering things to think about and things that women especially need to think about when choosing a marriage partner.
 
John Mac Ghlionn, the author of the piece, makes the claim that men tend to love more intensely and more unconditionally than women do [1] and if that is the case, then that is something for which men can should be commended but it is sadly to the shame of women and the reason why I would say that this is to a woman’s shame is because women are regarded as being the “nurturing” gender through whom hospitality, compassion, empathy, and kindness are better expressed and if women are by nature better nurturers than men, then why should women have trouble loving a man without any conditions or any strings attached?  You would think that women are better at loving unconditionally than men, but this is sadly not always the case because for many women, their love and affection do not come for free.
 
That is not to say that women are not capable of loving unconditionally.  After all, mothers, good mothers that is, will pour their hearts and souls into their offspring and dedicate themselves to raising up their children to be upright productive members of society.  They don’t just invest their time into their children.  They invest themselves and I am sure for those of you out there who happen to be mothers know what I’m talking about.  But if they can love their children in a manner that is unconditional, then why can they not love their husbands, the men whom they have sworn before God and man to spend the rest of their lives with, in the same unconditional manner? And again, that is not to say that women cannot love unconditionally and that it isn’t to say that there are not women who are able to love their husbands in an unconditional manner, but sadly there are many women who do not love their husbands to the extent that they should and as a sad consequence, the husband ends up pouring more of his heart and soul into his wife than she does into him.
 
Many women claim that they want a man who will love them and who accept them for who they are, but are they prepared to accept a man for who he is and to give to him that same measure of love that they want him to give to them?
 
Because when men do love and with sincerity, Ghlionn goes on to state that “they do so with every ounce of their being. They don’t keep score, strategize, or ration affection like it’s a currency that might run out. When a man loves — I mean, truly loves — he hands over the deed. No insurance, no fallback, no emotional exit route.” [2]
 
If women want men to love them in a manner that is unconditional and in a self-sacrificing manner, then in all fairness to any prospective spouse, they need to be prepared to love that prospective husband with that same amount of intensity that they are hoping to receive from him because the kind of woman that every man---commitment-minded men anyway---dreams of is a woman who, no matter her circumstances and without regard to his circumstances, will:
 
Love him with every ounce of her being, who will not keep score, who will not strategize, and who will not ration her affections like a currency that might run out, but will instead give her affections freely and unconditionally.
 
Marriage minded men want a woman who does not pursue them out of necessity, financial or material gain, or out of convenience.  They want women who will love them for who they are and nothing more.  They want a woman who will not just invest time, but also themselves.  They want women who will pour their hearts and souls into them and into the marriage just as they would into their own children.
 
And when women marry for reasons that are not driven by the love they feel and have for that prospective spouse, they are doing that man a disservice which is why when it comes to marriage, women, irrespective of what their circumstances may be, need to find a man whom they can love with every ounce of their being and into whom they can pour their hearts and souls into until one of them draws their final breath in this life.
 
The kind of love with which men love, when they sincerely love, that Ghlionn is writing about is the kind of love with which husbands are commanded by scripture to love their wives:  In a self-sacrificial manner. (Eph. 5:25)
 
But if women would only learn to love their husbands in that same way, they would then know what it really is to be the help-meet or assisting companion that God had created them to be to the husband (Gen. 2:18) because the assisting companion or help-meet isn’t in it for selfish gain.  They are in it for the betterment of the man and that kind of companionship should not be determined by what is in the man’s bank account, but a love for the man.
 
Now am I saying that the man should not go out and work for a living? No, I am not saying that, but his reason for working should not be to earn your affections or hand in marriage, but for the simple fact that if he doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat (2 Thess. 3:10) and not only that, but so that he may also show himself to be a productive member of society and to even make contribution to the things pertaining to the Kingdom of God. (Eph. 4:28)
 
The love a woman should have for her husband should not be a love that runs out, even when the money does.  It should not cease at the loss of a job or career, or disappear if he falls ill or is injured.  And it should also be a love that her husband will never be bereft of even if they she should find herself bereft of her offspring.  It is a love that must endure all things (good and bad) because that is what you swore yourself to and if your promises to your husband are no good, then neither will your promises be to anyone else.
 
We hear a lot about what women want in a man, but many never stop to consider what a man wants in a woman and I am not just talking about their attractive appearance.  Women need to consider if they can be the person that their prospective spouse is looking for and not when it is convenient or when there is something to gain, but even when it is not so convenient and even when there is nothing to gain in the material or financial sense.
 
But if you are seeking marriage out of necessity, convenience, material or financial gain and not for love and love alone, then you have already failed as a wife.  Towards the beginning of his post, Ghlionn does make an interesting point that few, if any, have ever noticed, is that men have been conditioned by tradition, culture, and society to be a certain way:
 
 
 
We like to pretend that men are emotionally inert. Stoic. Unbothered. But that’s projection. It’s not that men don’t feel deeply. It’s that they’ve been trained — by culture, by history, by women themselves — not to show it. To take it on the chin. To go to work. To pay the mortgage. To carry the coffin.
 
They are conditioned to endure, not express. To absorb pain like pavement absorbs rain — quietly, without complaint. And so they love in silence. They lose in silence. And sometimes, they die in silence. [3]
 
 
 
But if men have been conditioned by society, tradition, and culture to be a certain way, then we must also assume that the same thing has happened to women and I don’t know about the rest of you out there but I have reason to believe that societal tradition and culture are largely responsible for creating a gender-gap between men and women and what men and women need to do is to not concern themselves with societal, traditional, or cultural expectations.  Both genders simply need to learn to be themselves but more importantly, both men and women need only to concern themselves with being who God intended for them to be because it is God alone who instills in both men and women their respective gifts, talents, skills, interests, and passions and each according to the purpose and calling that He has set forth for each person and neither should be prohibited from offering or expressing those interests, passions, gifts, talents, and skills that they acquire, possess, and which are instilled in them.
 
If what Ghlionn says about men’s capacity for love is true, and only men are able to honestly determine that about themselves, then there are probably more men who would love to be able to express the capacity of unconditional love than we realize but the reason why they don’t is because they are afraid to or even embarrassed to and so they don’t express to the extent that they perhaps should because they don’t want to be ridiculed for it and because they don’t want to be hurt in a way that may be beyond repair.  Ghlionn explains the magnitude of this hurt that perhaps many women might fail to comprehend:
 
 
 
Men don’t break often. But when they do, they don’t bend — they shatter. And what’s left doesn’t always go back together… He doesn’t have a group chat dissecting every word. He’s not bookmarking potential replacements or building a public archive of the relationship to turn the story into a performance later. He’s not loving for validation; he loves because it’s real. And when he commits, it’s total — not out of duty, not out of fear, but because that’s how men love when they mean it. That’s precisely why it wrecks them when it ends. They didn’t just invest time; they invested themselves. They put something eternal into something fragile, and when it breaks, there’s no parachute.
 
It’s not that men love better. It’s that they love harder — and with fewer safety nets. So when it all falls apart, there’s nothing left to catch them. When that love is lost — through betrayal, death, divorce — he doesn’t rebound with brunches and girl groups and TikTok therapy. He bottles it. He builds a wall around the crater and keeps going. Until one day, the wall cracks. And the heart does, too.
 
There’s only so long you can white-knuckle grief before it starts chewing through the bone. Ask any man who’s been left after years of loyalty. Ask the widower who hasn’t taken off his wedding ring. Ask the father alienated from his children. Their grief doesn’t announce itself. It settles deep, like pressure beneath the earth, invisible but relentless. It changes their posture. Their sleep. Their appetite for life. Not all at once, but slowly, over time.
 
It doesn’t wail — it waits. It doesn’t erupt — it erodes…Men are three to four times more likely to kill themselves after a divorce. They’re far more likely to develop addictions post-breakup. And now we know they’re more likely to die of grief. Not metaphorical heartbreak, but actual cardiac failure. [4]
 
 
 
It is not an unheard of thing for people to die of grief or a broken heart.  In fact, a condition called broken heart syndrome, also known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, is in fact a real cardiovascular condition that can be brought on by extreme emotional stress such as the end of a relationship or the death of a loved one.  According to a Yahoo news article cited by Ghlionn [5, 6] which in turn cited a study from the Journal of the American Heart Association, the condition is more commonly found in women, but men are twice as likely to die from it. [7] 
 
But then begs the question if the loss of a relationship, betrayal, or the death of one held dear to them affects men at a higher magnitude than women or if they just simply process that pain and anguish differently and sometimes, when either go through such grief and anguish, neither can find the words to express what it is that they are feeling, but as John Ghlionn points out in his piece, men are the stronger gender in many respects but at the same time, they more fragile than we think them to be and in some cases, they can shatter far more easily than even women which now leads me to admonish women that when it comes to men, handle men with the care that you would want them to handle you.
 
When I had read how King David described the love that his closest friend Johnathan had for him to be greater than that of the love of women, (2 Samuel 1:26) I never understood how that could be possible, but I knew it was a love that had nothing to do with romance or anything erotic as some might have assumed, but that it was a kind of love that is extremely rare but after reading John Ghlionn’s piece, I began to understand what this love that Johnathan had for David was a self-sacrificing love in which he invested not just his time into David but himself and he loved David with everything he had and valued his friendship with David even above his relationship with his father Saul or the throne of Israel.  He was a friend who stuck closer to David than any brother and without an exit plan.  He had no intention of ever betraying or forsaking David.  He was determined to remain a faithful friend to him to the end.
 
Johnathan should be commended for the deep love and loyalty he had for David but women who do not have as deep of love for their husbands should be ashamed that they don’t and should want that about them to be changed.
 
The kind of woman that every commitment- minded man dreams about and needs is a woman who will enter into a marital covenant with him without an exit plan and who will stick closer to him than a brother or even his own mother at all times but any woman entering into a marital bond without that kind of love and determination to be the best that she can be for her husband will end up breaking and shattering his heart to magnitudes greater than she might even know and perhaps without even caring.
 
We hear of the many ways women say that they’ve been hurt by men but what we don’t hear about are the many ways that women hurt men and that is because men are not nearly as vocal about the ways women have hurt them as women are about the ways that men have hurt them and there is rectifying that needs to be done on the part of both but if there is one thing that both have in common is that they are inherently selfish which is why men and women do not love each other with the love that they should.  It is the reason why men do not always display the self-sacrificial love that he should and it is also the reason why women do not display the unwavering loyalty and support for their husbands that they should and it is because of that inherent selfish nature that resides within each of us that neither men nor women will ever be able to love each other with a perfect love but I do know this in that both men and women can do much better at loving each other than they are now because that is what we were created to do: To love one another (Jn. 15:12) and it is a world of love that God had initially created and when he had first created the world, there was nothing in it but life, light, goodness, peace, contentment, happiness, and a perfect uninterrupted and unhindered harmony between God, man, and nature until the day that evil entered into that world and this evil that had entered into the world did not begin as evil at first but was a certain angel called Lucifer who had served as a covering cherub at the throne of God until he became lifted up in his pride and tried to make himself equal to God, even thinking that he could have for himself that which belonged to God alone and as a consequence, he and all who had sided with him against God were cast from their positions in Heaven (Is. 14:11-21, Ezek. 28:12-19) and it was at that time that Lucifer had become known as Satan and after having been cast from his position in Heaven, he then, in the form of a serpent, crept into the newly created world by leading the first man Adam and the first woman Eve who was Adam’s wife to do the one thing that God had warned them not to do lest they surely die and that was the eating the fruit from a certain tree called the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Gen. 2:16-17, 3:3) but rather than heed the warning that God had given them, they listened to the lies of  Satan who falsely assured them that if they ate of that forbidden fruit that they would not die as they had been warned but that instead, they would receive wisdom that they had never had before and even become divine in nature (Gen. 3:4-5) and when they had eaten of that forbidden fruit, instead of receiving the wisdom that the serpent told that they would receive, the only knowledge they received was the shame that came upon their nakedness after they had eaten of that forbidden fruit (Gen. 3:7) and instead of attaining a status superior to the one in which they had been created, they fell to an inferior status and the sentence of death of which they were warned was pronounced upon them to which they eventually succumbed (Gen. 3:19) but the sentence of death did not stop with Adam and Eve for it was sin which entered into them that brought death to them and the sin that entered into them and brought to death to them was then passed down to all of mankind because it is from Adam and Eve all mankind descend and because we are all descended from them, we have also inherited from them the very sin that entered into them (Rom. 5:12) and just as they died because of sin, so we all die because of sin; (Rom. 6:23) sin being defined not by just our actions, behavior, conduct, and what we say, but as the inwardly corrupt condition of our nature that not only influences our outward acts and what we say, but also our very thoughts, motives, and the attitude of the heart which is why it is written that we are not defiled from without but from within (Mt. 5:11, 17-20) but the consequences of the transgression that brought sin into the world and death with it did not confine themselves to man, but spread to all of creation which is why it is written that the entire creation groans and travails in pain to this day (Rom. 8:19-22) which is suffering, pain, misery, and hardship of every sort and severity abound in the world today and why creation itself is dying a very slow death and it was that very lie that Satan told which led Adam and Eve to commit that very fateful transgression that earned him the title of the father of lies (Jn. 8:44) because the lie that he used to lead Adam and Eve into the transgression was the first lie known to man and by that lie he through sin brought death which is why he is also called a murderer (v. 44) and he continues to kill and destroy through sin every day and it is by that lie by which he became the father of lies and a murderer that he diminished the dominion over the earth that had once been given to man (Gen. 1:26) and claimed lordship over the nations, kingdoms, and empires of the earth (Mt. 4:8-9, Lk. 4:6-7) which why he is called the prince of this world (Jn. 12:31, 16:11) and the thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (Jn. 10:10) but not only is he a murderer of the body and the destroyer of all things created and it is through sin that he brought his hate into the world and it is through sin that he fills men with hate that they might otherwise not have, causes divisions that otherwise might not be, prevents relationships that otherwise might have been, and destroys relationships that did not have to end and he is not only a destroyer of lives and of creation itself but he is also a destroyer of souls because it is through sin that he has brought separation between man and God because man who is in sin cannot dwell in the direct presence of a sinless God and a sinless God cannot allow that which is sin into His Kingdom in which there is no sin or else the Kingdom would be as defiled as the earth has been
and if sin separates us from God, then it is also going to hinder our relationships with one another and cause separations between us that do not have to be.  Sin also causes us to cause each other hurt and pain that we would otherwise not be causing and if sin causes us to break each other’s hearts, then how much more so does our sin break the heart of the God who made us.
 
If men whose love is not perfect due to sin decide to give their love unconditionally can be shattered when it is not reciprocated, then what does that do to God whose love is perfect when men reject the love and mercy that He offers?  It is because of the very grief and sorrow that the wickedness of man had caused God in the days of Noah that He sent a flood to destroy the entire world as it was known (Gen. 6-8) for in those days the evil in the world had become so great that made God regret that He had ever made man (Gen. 6:7) which then gave the Lord cause to destroy all of humanity except for Noah and his family who had found grace in the sight of God and it is because of sin and of the evil of this world that judgment will come upon the world again but not by a flood but by a series of catastrophic judgments that will end in fire due to the immense amount of grief that our sin causes our Creator and His wrath against sin is due not only because sin has caused us to be what He has not created us to be, but because of the pain and suffering that it causes us and which it causes us to bring upon each other but the Lord God Almighty does not take pleasure in punishment or destruction and it is because of His love and mercy for mankind that He delays judgment because He is not willing that any should perish but that all would come to repentance. (2 Pet. 3:9)
 
Though God, in His holiness and righteousness, must eventually eliminate all sin and all evil and in His love He has provided redemption in Jesus Christ our Lord who is the only begotten Son of God (Jn. 3:16) who, being without sin, (2 Cor. 5:21, Heb. 4:15) was that offering needed to take away the sins of the world (Heb. 7:26-27)which He did through the shedding of His blood upon the cross on which He was crucified and after having purchased our redemption by His death, He was raised again from the dead so that we by our faith in Him would be justified in Him (Rom. 4:25) so that any calling upon Him for the forgiveness of sins in sincere faith and repentance would be justified before God the Father by Him and in Him (Rom. 10:13) and with the redemption of our souls comes a transformation (2 Cor. 5:17) that causes us to no longer desire to follow after selfish and worldly pursuits but after those things that pertain to the Kingdom of Heaven, (Mt. 6:33)
to no longer take pleasure in those things that are evil and displeasing in the sight of the Lord, but in that which is good, right, and pleasing in His sight,
to no longer desire to walk in the lies of this present world, but only in the truth that comes from Christ Almighty, (Jn. 14:6) no longer placing our hopes in the things of this present world, but looking forward to that new and better world to come, (Rev. 21-22)
to no longer rely on worldly resources, men, or even our own power, abilities, skills, and wisdom for our needs and provision but upon God who is able to meet all of our needs, (Mt. 6:25-33) recognizing that the resources of this world and even the people He brings into our lives are but instruments and vessels through which God meets our needs and that the skills, power, knowledge, and wisdom by which we might acquire our provision are provided and instilled in us by God,
to no longer fear what men can do to us, but rather fearing the God before whom we will have to one day give an account for how we lived our lives, (Mt. 10:28)
to no longer look to corruptible institutions within our society for direction and order in our lives but to God who, by His written Word has given us laws and precepts to be applied to our lives and which serve to produce and maintain an ordered life, and who, by His Holy Spirit which comes to dwell within us upon repentance, establishes in our lives a course and direction in our lives to pursue for His glory,
to no longer seek our own glory but the glory of God,
to no longer rally behind corruptible men, but instead behind the incorruptible God in Heaven bearing in mind that those men and women God raises up for our edification are but instruments and servants of His for that respective purpose to which He has called them,
to no longer seek to align ourselves with the things of darkness but only with the things of the light,
to no longer trust in the wisdom of the world but only on the wisdom and knowledge that comes from above, nor depend on corruptible earthly authorities to swiftly administer justice, but only in the power of God to deliver us from evil.
 
And we look forward to the day that, just as our souls have been redeemed and delivered from eternal damnation, when we shall also be delivered from bodily death when that which is sinful is made sinless and that which is corruptible is transformed into that which is incorruptible (1 Cor. 15:51-55, 1 Thess. 4:13-18) for wherein dwells no sin there is no death and finally, creation itself will also be liberated from the curse that has come upon it because of sin, when Satan who is the adversary of our souls and is that thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (Jn. 10:10) is given his final sentence and cast into eternal damnation along with all who have sided with him (Rev. 20:10-15) and after that, the creation will then be made anew, and it will be a creation in which there will dwell no death, no decay, no evil, no darkness, no grief, no sorrow, and no misery, and no hardship, but only light, life, happiness, peace, contentment, and joy before the Lord God Almighty for all eternity. (Rev. 21-22)
 
If you want to be sure that you are on the side of truth and not on the side of lies, then I urge you reader, if you have not done so already, to call upon the name of the Lord Jesus who is the source of all truth for the forgiveness of sins.  It is but a sincere prayer of repentance away.
 
 
 
"Lord Jesus I need you.
 
 
I realize that I am a sinner
who has fallen short of the glory of God
and that my goodness falls short
of your standard of Moral perfection.
 
Please forgive me of all of my sins.
Come into my heart and into my life
to be the Savior and Lord of my life.
Make me into the servant and follower
that you want me to be.
In your name Lord Jesus, I pray.
 
 
Amen."
 
 
Know that God is not concerned with the words that you use to call upon Him forgiveness, but with the attitude of your heart and if you have, with all sincerity, have asked Christ to forgive you of your sins, placing your trust in Him only for your salvation and in nothing else, then your sins are forgiven and your place in Heaven is certain.
 
 
 
End notes:
 
 
 
1.  John Mac Ghlionn, “He Loved You More Than Life Itself — And It Killed Him,” The Rob Martin Report, June 29, 2025
https://www.rodmartin.org/p/he-loved-you-more-than-life-itself
 
2.  Ibid.
 
3.  Ibid.
 
4.  Ibid.
 
5.  Ibid.
 
6.  Kameryn Griesser, CNN, “Why men with broken heart syndrome are more likely to die, according to experts,” June 7, 2025
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/men-more-likely-women-die-160003134.html
 
7.  Mohammad Reza Movahed, MD, PhD  Elimira Javanmardi, MD, and Mehrtash Hashemzadeh, MS, “Cardiomyopathy With More Than Double Mortality in Men Without Improvement in Outcome Over the Years,” Journal of the American Heart Association, Vol. 14 number 10, originally published May 14, 2025
https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/JAHA.124.037219
 
 
 
Scripture references:
 
 
 
1.  Ephesians 5:24
 
2.  Genesis 2:18
 
3.  2 Thessalonians 3:10
 
4.  Ephesians 4:28
 
5.  2 Samuel 1:26
 
6.  John 15:12
 
7.  Isaiah 14:11-21, Ezekiel 28:12-19
 
8.  Genesis 2:16-17, 3:3
 
9.  Genesis 3:4-5
 
10.  Genesis 3:7
 
11.  Genesis 3:19
 
12.  Romans 5:12
 
13.  Matthew 15:11, 17-20
 
14.  Romans 6:23
 
15.  Romans 8:19-22
 
16.  John 8:44
 
17.  Genesis 1:26
 
18.  Matthew 4:8-9, Luke 4:6-7
 
19.  John 12:31, 16:11
 
20.  John 10:10
 
21.  Genesis 6-8
 
22.  Genesis 6:7
 
23.  2 Peter 3:9
 
24.  John 3:16
 
25.  2 Corinthians 5:21, Hebrews 4:15
 
26.  Hebrews 7:26-27
 
27.  Romans 4:25
 
28.  Romans 10:13
 
29.  John 14:6
 
30.  2 Corinthians 5:17
 
31.  Matthew 6:33
 
32.  Revelation 21-22
 
33.  Matthew 6:25-33
 
34.  Matthew 10:28
 
35.  1 Corinthians 15:51-55, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
 
36.  Revelation 20:10-15