Jimmy
Evans, founder of a marriage ministry called XO Marriage, was reported
by a Christian Post news item as claiming that the Church is not interested
in the subject of marriage anymore claiming that 85 percent of congregations do
not allocate any of their funds to a marriage ministry [1] and I find this
to be tragic because marriage was designed to be the most sacred bond that God
ever intended for there to be between a man and a woman; in fact it is this
bond between a man and a woman that was meant and intended to be the most
intimate, closest, binding, and secure of all human relationships but then again,
it should be no surprise that there should be a lack of support within the Church
for marriage and marriage ministries as the Church has largely avoided and neglected
a lot of vitally important matters such as apologetics, evangelism, discipleship,
godly living, spiritual warfare, diligent study of the scriptures, preservation
of sound doctrine, protection against false teaching and heresy, and enforcing
accountability amongst the members for behavior, conduct, and even for what is
preached.
There
may still be a lot of congregations who may continue to defend the biblical
design of marriage, but the question is, how many congregations are interested
in the preservation of marriages and in successful marriages?
And
if the preservation of marital relationships is being largely neglected by the
Church, it is because the Church has sadly forgotten what it takes to preserve
a marital relationship. The reason why
marriages fail, it is because one or both spouses are not applying the right
principles to their marriage and the reason why one or both are not apply the
right principles to their marriage is because one or both spouses did not
choose each other on the basis that they should have in the first place, and if
they did choose each other on the right basis and their marriage is still
facing needless struggles, it is because they’ve forgotten that basis and they
need to remember why they chose each other in the first place and think about
what it is that is really holding them together.
Now,
if there is a bit of good news that Evans does have to offer, it is that most
people in America still want marriage but are afraid to do so [2] because they are
afraid of what that kind of commitment may require of them and what the person
they commit themselves to may require of them and the reason for this fear is
because they do not know what it takes to establish and preserve a successful
marriage because they do not know the right principles that are needed to apply
to a marriage to make it successful which all begins with why we choose the
prospective spouses that we do.
No
marriage should ever fail but what principles you and your spouse apply to your
marriage will determine whether it succeeds and fails. No one ever said that marriage would always
be easy and there was no promise made that a couple will not face adversity but
what every married couple and prospective married couple need to understand is
that marriage is not a relationship of convenience. It is a relationship that demands an
unwavering and unyielding commitment not just when it is convenient to do so,
but even when it is not convenient and not just when there is something to gain
from it, but even when there isn’t, and not just when the prospective spouse
measures up to certain expectations but even when they fall short because both
spouses, because they are both fallible human beings will inevitably fall short
of each other’s expectations from time to time and they will inevitably
disappoint each other at times. They may
not intend to; they may not want to, but it is inevitable that they will because
we are a people of inherent fallen and fallible nature and it is due to this
inherent fallen and fallible nature that our relationships will never be what
we hope that they will be and prospective spouses need to decide how much grace
they are willing to extend to each other in recognition of the fallible nature
that exists within them and if it were not for the inherent fallen and fallible
nature that exists within us, no relationship would ever be flawed but each and
every relationship would be as it should be and every marriage would be as it
should be and when God had first created the world and had first created
mankind, God created marriage to be a perfect unity between the man and the
woman just as He had intended for there to be a perfect and uninterrupted harmony
between God, man, and nature and when the world was created, it was created
with that perfect and uninterrupted harmony until it became disrupted by an
astronomically fateful and consequential act of disobedience when the first man
Adam and the first woman Eve, who was Adam’s wife, had eaten the fruit of a
certain tree that God had warned them to not eat from and that tree which was
forbidden to mankind was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and it was
warned of God that in the day that they ate the fruit thereof, they would surely
die (Gen. 2:16-17, 3:3) and when they refused to heed that that warning and ate
of that forbidden fruit, the sentence of death came upon them to which they
both eventually succumbed just as they had been warned, (Gen. 3:19) for it was
in the day that they ate of that forbidden fruit that sin, which is the corrupted
condition of human nature, entered into Adam and Eve which resulted in their
eventual deaths, and after sin had entered into them, we then see the first
signs of the disruption of that perfect harmony when Adam and Eve are
confronted by God over the eating of that forbidden fruit. We first see Adam and Eve attempting to hide
from God when shame came upon their nakedness; (Gen. 3:7-11) they did not want
Him to see the nakedness of which they were embarrassed. We then see a disruption in the perfect
marital bond between Adam and Eve when Adam tried to blame Eve for his disobedience
(v. 3:12) and we then see the first signs of disrupted harmony between humanity
and nature when Eve blamed the serpent for her disobedience (v. 13) and granted
that the serpent or a spirit who had infiltrated the garden in the form of a
serpent was responsible for leading Adam and Eve into the eating of that
forbidden fruit, they were all held accountable for their part; the harshest
punishment falling upon the serpent which was not just any mere serpent but
rather the spirit who had taken the form of a serpent in order to deceive Adam and
Eve into the eating of that forbidden fruit and I do not wish to dwell too
deeply into that except to say that the spirit who had crept into the garden in
the form of a serpent was responsible for causing division between the man and
the woman where there was none and he did so through the sin that entered into
them both when they had eaten of that forbidden fruit and the spirit who had disrupted
that perfect unity was once an angelic being named Lucifer who had once served
as a covering cherub at the throne of God until the day that he became so lifted
up in his pride that he thought to make himself equal with God which resulted
in him and those who sided with him against God to be cast from their places in
Heaven (Is. 14:11-21, Ezek. 28:12-19) and it was in that day that Lucifer
became better known as Satan or the Devil, and the division that he caused
among the angelic host in Heaven, he then brought to the earth, beginning with
Adam and Eve first by first disrupting the once perfect and uninterrupted
fellowship between them and their Creator, and then going on to disrupt their
perfect marital union.
But
the consequences of Adam Eve’s disobedience did not stop with them but extended
to the rest of mankind through the sin that had entered into them being inherited
by all of mankind since we are all descended from them (Rom. 5:12) and it is
due to the sin that we inherited from them that we all sin and as a consequence,
we are just as subject to death as Adam and Eve were because, as it is written,
the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23) and it is our inherently sinful nature that
prevents us from being able to attain the perfect uninterrupted bonds that we
crave and desire be it with our spouse or even with God Himself, but God does
not intend that such division should persist between Himself and humanity or
that it should ever persist amongst men but seeks to reconcile mankind to Himself,
mankind to one another, and spouses to each other.
Satan
is a divider and destroyer. God is a
builder, restorer, and reconciler and greatest act of reconciliation initiated
between God and man is when He sent Jesus Christ who is His only begotten Son
(Jn. 3:16) to reconcile us to the Creator through His death on the cross upon
which He was crucified thereby providing redemption through His shed sinless
blood (2 Cor. 5:21, Heb. 4:15, 7:26-27) for sinful man and after having
purchased in His death our redemption was then raised from the dead for our justification
(Rom. 4:25) so that we, by our faith in Him, would be justified in Him before
God the Father if we will but call upon the name of the Lord Jesus for our
salvation (Rom. 10:13) and it is with Jesus that the process of reconciliation
begins, first with our Creator (2 Cor. 5:18) and then with our fellowperson because
when we, in sincere faith and repentance, call upon the name of the Lord Jesus
for the forgiveness of sins, become a new person (2 Cor. 5:17) which makes us to
no longer desire to follow after selfish and worldly pursuits but after those
things that pertain to the Kingdom of Heaven,
to
no longer take pleasure in those things that are evil and displeasing in the
sight of the Lord, but in that which is good, right, and pleasing in His sight,
to
no longer desire to walk in the lies of this present world, but only in the
truth that comes from Christ Almighty who is the source of all truth, (Jn.
14:6)
no
longer placing our hopes in the things of this present world, but looking
forward to that new and better world to come, (Rev. 21-22)
to
no longer rely on worldly resources, men, or even our own power, abilities,
skills, and wisdom for our needs and provision but upon God who is able to meet
all of our needs, recognizing that the resources of this world and even the
people He brings into our lives are but instruments and vessels through which
God meets our needs and that the skills, power, knowledge, and wisdom by which
we might acquire our provision are provided and instilled in us by God, (Mt.
6:25-33)
to
no longer fear what men can do to us, but rather fearing the God before whom we
will have to one day give an account for how we lived our lives, (Mt. 10:28)
to
no longer look to corruptible institutions within our society for direction and
order in our lives but to God who, by His written Word has given us laws and
precepts to be applied to our lives and which serve to produce and maintain an
ordered life, and who, by His Holy Spirit which comes to dwell within us upon
repentance, establishes in our lives a course and direction in our lives to
pursue for His glory,
to
no longer seek our own glory but the glory of God,
to
no longer rally behind corruptible men, but instead behind the incorruptible
God in Heaven bearing in mind that those men and women God raises up for our
edification are but instruments and servants of His for that respective purpose
to which He has called them,
to
no longer seek to align ourselves with the things of darkness but only with the
things of the light,
to
no longer trust in the wisdom of the world but only on the wisdom and knowledge
that comes from above, (Jas. 1:5) nor depend on corruptible earthly authorities
to swiftly administer justice, but only in the power of God to deliver us from
evil.
And
it is by this transformation within us that we are reconciled not only to our
Creator but, in some cases, we are also reconciled to people with whom we were
once at odds, and we may also experience even a restoration in our
relationships because in Christ, the entire basis on which a relationship is
built is changed because an entirely different set of principles is then applied
to relationships and there are countless testimonies of marriages that appeared
destined to fail brought back to full restoration because the couples involved
reevaluated the basis for why they chose to get married in the first place and
applied a different set of principles to their relationship than they once did
before. Does that mean that their
relationships were made perfect and conflict free from that point on? No, but in
Christ Jesus, those challenges and conflicts are faced and managed a lot better
than they were before.
If,
as Jimmy Evans says in the Christian Post news item’s opening
statements, people still want to get married but are afraid to do so, all I can
say is that people shouldn’t be afraid of it.
All that it takes is knowing the right principles to apply to that prospective
marriage and be willing to do so, and choosing someone who is in exact same
agreement with those principles and is willing to do the same and if both
prospective spouses know and understand the principles required to produce and
sustain a marriage and if both are committed to applying those principles, then
there is nothing to be afraid of and especially if they are both united not
just in the flesh but under a spirit of unity and harmony; that Spirit of unity
and harmony being Jesus Christ who desires to and is willing to bring peace and
harmony into the life of any person and into the marriage or prospective
marriage of any given couple to any who will ask in sincere faith and repentance
and that peace and harmony is only a sincere prayer of repentance away:
"Lord
Jesus I need you.
I
realize that I am a sinner
who
has fallen short of the glory of God
and
that my goodness falls short
of
your standard of Moral perfection.
Please
forgive me of all of my sins.
Come
into my heart and into my life
to
be the Savior and Lord of my life.
Make
me into the servant and follower
that
you want me to be.
In
your name Lord Jesus, I pray.
Amen."
Know
that God is not concerned with the words that you use to call upon Him
forgiveness, but with the attitude of your heart and if you have, with all
sincerity, have asked Christ to forgive you of your sins, placing your trust in
Him only for your salvation and in nothing else, then your sins are forgiven
and your place in Heaven is certain.
End
notes:
1. Leah MarieAnn Klett, “Churches are neglecting
marriage crisis amid rise in porn, technology, Jimmy Evans warns,” Christian
Post, June 28, 2026
https://www.christianpost.com/news/churches-are-neglecting-marriage-crisis-jimmy-evans-warns.html?utm_source=notifpush.com&utm_medium=web-push
Scripture
references:
1. Genesis 2:16-17, 3:3
2. Genesis 3:19
3. Genesis 3:7-11
4. Genesis 3:12
5. Genesis 3:13
6. Isaiah 14:11-21, Ezekiel 28:12-19
7. Romans 5:12
8. Romans 6:23
9. John 3:16
10. 2 Corinthians 5:21, Hebrews 4:15, 7:26-27
11. Romans 4:25
12. Romans 10:13
13. 2 Corinthians 5:18
14. 2 Corinthians 5:17
15. John 4:16
16. Revelation 21-22
17. Matthew 6:25-33
18. Matthew 10:28
19. James 1:5
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