Only Single Mothers Can Discredit The Stereotypes Surrounding Them

 


The stereotypes listed in an article posted in News Of X [1] may not be representative of all single mothers, but they sadly represent enough single mothers to be a concern amongst men and the only ones who can soundly discredit the stereotypes that surround single mothers are single mothers who are able to demonstrate and show their prospective husbands that the stereotypes listed in the piece posted in News Of X are not who they are and do not represent the motives that drive them to seek a marital partner.
 
Single mothers need to understand that no matter how hard it may be for them to raise their children on their own, the rules and principles for a successful marriage do not change.  They need to apply the very same principles to their marriage as those who have no children which means the only reason that they should have for getting married is out of a desire for love and intimate companionship and nothing more which means any prospective spouse needs to be someone the single mother can love, cherish, and value just as much if there were no children involved as she would with children involved.  That prospective spouse needs to be more to the single mother than just a tool or surrogate parent.
 
If the roles were reversed, think about how you would want to be valued.  Would you be content with just being nothing more than a nanny to your prospective husband’s children or would you want to be more to him than just that.
 
Single mothers need a spouse who is just as much of a priority to them as their children are.
She needs to invest in her marriage or prospective marriage just as much as she does in her children.
 
Single mothers need to make their children treat the prospective husband or husband with respect Your children don’t have to love your spouse or prospective spouse, but the least they can do is treat them with the decency and respect that they themselves would want to be treated and if they don’t, be willing to take disciplinary action against children.  It will show your husband or prospective husband that you love and care about him enough to ensure that your children treat him with respect.  No one wants anything to do with a parent who is unwilling to effectively correct the bad and disrespectful behavior of their children.
 
Single mothers need a husband who they can love just as much as they do their children
 
Single mothers may very well find relief with a man in the house, but the man they need to assist with the expenses and childrearing needs to be a man that they love at all times.
 
Single mothers need to understand that marriage is not about just them or even their children, but it is also about the man they intend to marry.
 
Single mothers need to be just as emotionally and physically available to their spouse as they would be if there were no children in the picture.
 
Single mothers need to supportive of the dreams and aspirations of their husband.
 
Single mothers need to be able to love their husband or prospective husband for the man that he is; no if, ands, or buts and not for what they think he can do or even provide.
 
Marriage-minded men want a woman who they can trust to be at their side at all times and not just during the good times but also during the difficult and hard times and not just when it is convenient, but also when things are not so convenient, and not just under favorable circumstances, but also when circumstances are unfavorable. 
 
They want a woman who will be both physically and emotionally available to them on a regular basis and a woman who will love them at all times and for who they are and as they are and for nothing more and if that doesn’t describe you, then men will be better off with women who are childless and even barren as far as marriage goes because why should a man waste his life with a woman who doesn’t really love him for the man that he is and is nothing more than a tool to her?
 
If your prospective husband is not being loved and appreciated for the man that he is and if your driving reason for marrying him is just make life easier for yourself and your children, then he is going to feel that there is something missing between the two of you and he would be right and if he does not feel that he is as much of a priority to you as your children are, then he will not be satisfied with the relationship and even become resentful and he does not think that you have the love for him that he wants you to have for him, then he may find himself longing for someone who will give him the love that you are not and if he meets someone who is offering him the love that you aren’t giving, he may very well be tempted to leave you to be with that person.  Is that what you want?
 
Granted that your situation may be a difficult one and that it may not be easy raising children alone and naturally you may be looking for a deliverer and savior to lighten your burdens, but remember your prospective husband is also got troubles of his own that he is looking to be delivered from as well and if your primary motivation for marriage is driven by convenience instead of a sincere heartfelt love for your prospective spouse, that is not going to be fair to him when he wants a woman to marry him only for love and companionship, you are not doing yourself any favors in the long run, and in the end, that is not going to be fair to any children brought into the marriage.
 
If a man is given choice between a childless woman who will love him for the reasons that he wants and needs for her to and a single mother who pursues him only to make life better for her and her children and not out of a sincere love for him, he is going to choose a woman is childless over you because a single mother who marries only for financial relief and material gain will never be able to compete with a childless woman who marries only for love and who will love him at all times and who will faithfully remain with him always no matter what they are confronted with in life.
 
No matter what your parents may have told you or what they may be telling you and no matter what society, culture, and tradition may teach, and no matter what is preached from the pulpits in church and other places of worship, or propagated in our entertainment industry, and no matter what dating/courtship counsel and advice is being posted on the internet or offered in books (and I think seeking out dating advice from anyone is a waste of time by the way since no two men and no two women are exactly alike), marriage was intended by God to be for life (Mt. 19:4-6) and nothing but the death of one or both spouses should ever be allowed to bring any marriage to an end which means and according to Genesis 2:18, marriage was never intended to be a relationship of convenience but it was intended to be a bond and a relationship that is able to endure and withstand all things and in which the husband and wife cling to each other at all times and to nothing else nor anyone else whether there are children involved or not.
 
The man you might see as a prospective husband may very well be someone you might desire to cling to, but are you a woman that he can cling to at all times? 
 
If women hope to show themselves to be marriage material to marriage-minded men, they have to demonstrate that they can be faithful and trustworthy companions to their prospective husbands at all times because trust and confidence in one another is vital to a close and lasting relationship but single mothers will be hard-pressed to show their prospective husbands that they can be just as loving, faithful, reliable, and trustworthy to them as any childless woman can be.
 
The best way for any woman to gain the confidence of a marriage-minded man is simply to avoid anything that might hinder her ability to gain the confidence and trust of a man she might see as a prospective husband and single motherhood tends to do just that and while there are situations in which women find themselves as a single mother through no fault of their own (i.e. rape, incest, being widowed, or abandonment by husband) single motherhood is often a preventable situation and most of those situations are preventable if women simply confine their sexual activity to the marriage bed and if they insist on living a promiscuous lifestyle, they should either get their tubes tied or make the men they agree to sleep with get vasectomies so that they will not have to worry about an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy but as for those you women who desire to one day marry, your chances of acquiring a marital partner will increase if you will simply resolve to be more responsible with what you do with your bodies and that includes avoiding promiscuous behavior and choosing your relationships with discretion even if that means being alone for a season.
 
There is a reason why God forbids all forms of sex outside of a marital relationship and that is to provide protection from exploitation and especially sexual exploitation, from the burdens of single parenthood, and to increase the chances of finding a suitable marriage partner because when sex is confined only to the marriage bed, there is no fear of being sexually exploited and there is little risk of facing single parenthood.
 
Marriage was designed not only to guard from the torment of loneliness, but in this present world, it was also designed to guard against a host of other bad situations that we face in this world of sin as well and if the institution of marriage was necessary in a world that was once perfect, then how much more so in a world in which sin abounds.  In a perfect world filled with nothing but goodness, marriage was designed to provide intimate companionship to be shared between men and women, but in a world into which sin has entered, marriage is now not only designed for the purpose of providing intimate companionship and for the production of offspring, but the marital relationship also restrains the evils that would otherwise not be restrained but the marital relationship is no place for selfishness but requires the selflessness of the two partners towards one another and the reason why many people may avoid marriage is, in most cases, due to selfish tendencies.  If they are going to involve themselves in an intimate relationship, they either want that relationship to be on their own terms or not be involved in one at all but the fact that there are those who distain a marital commitment and yet still engage in sexual activity are only showing by their behavior that they need to be married and to a partner in whom they can be satisfied and committed to because whether they are willing to admit it or not, they have need of intimate companionship but are unwilling to commit and submit themselves to one partner and one partner for life in whom they can be satisfied for life because they have not the love and fear of God in them by whom marriage was established because if they did, they would be marriage-minded out of fear and love for Him and the only way that we will ever have a marriage-minded society is when the fear and love of God enters into the people once more for when the love and fear of God enter into the people, it is in that day that they will strive to live in accordance to his design and desire for them and abide in all of his moral and righteous laws, counsels, and precepts and it is with God alone that we become a commitment-minded and a marriage minded people and it is only out of the love and fear of God that we desire a spouse for the right reasons and the first and foremost reason that marriage should ever be pursued is out of love and not just out of a desire to be loved but out of a desire to love as well but the desire to love others can only begin when we first fear and love our Creator and when we love our Creator we will not want to do the things that dishonor and displease Him but will want to do that which pleases and honor Him which is why it is written that the first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, and might (Mt. 22:37-38) for when we love the Lord our God with all of our heart, might, and soul, it is then we begin to love others as we ought to and it is then we begin to love our spouses as we should for if we love God, then we should also be able to love other people (Mt. 22:39-40) because the God who made us is a God of love and mercy who desires to show love, grace, and mercy to any and all who are willing to receive it and if the love of God is supposed to drive us and motivate us into loving our neighbor as we love ourselves, then how much more should the fear and love of God drive us to love our prospective spouses as we ought to and as we would want them to as well and if we have the love and fear of God in us, then no matter what our circumstances may be and no matter how tempting it may be to pursue a prospective partner for financial stability and gain, and to lighten our burdens, we should not want to pursue a prospective spouse for such self-serving reasons.  We should only pursue them for the sake of love and intimate companionship and not only a prospective spouse to whom we are able to give that love to but who is also able to give us that same love in turn but there is nothing loving about pursuing a spouse out of convenience nor for financial and material gain because marriages founded upon convenience and gain are not marriages founded upon a lasting bond of love. 
 
Marriage was never intended to be a business contract but to be a lasting bond of love between a man or a woman irrespective what the circumstances of both spouses might be.  Save for two exceptions, one being adultery (Mt. 19:9) and one being due to a spiritual divide (1 Cor. 5:17) there is a reason why God forbids divorce and remarriage for just any reason and that is because He intended for husbands and wives to cling to each other until the day that one or both die.  He intended for that marital relationship to be for life which is why the only prospective spouse who is to be pursued is one with whom you can spend your entire life with at all times and in any and all given circumstances, and endure all things with and there should be nothing that takes places or that the two of you are both confronted with that should ever cause the two of you to part ways but rather your marriage and the bond of love that was supposed to have brought the two of you together should be able to withstand anything and everything.  There should be nothing that should ever cause that bond between the two of you to cease and if there is, it is only because one or both spouses have allowed that to happen and it is allowed to happen due to selfish and self-serving tendencies that ought not be and were never intended to exist within us but yet do and the reason why this is the case is because we are inherently by nature evil and selfish though it was never intended for us to be and far too often we give into that inherently corrupt nature rather resist that nature and resolve to do that which is good and pleasing in the eyes of God and that inward corruption of our nature was passed down to all of mankind through one man and one woman into whom that corruption first entered but before it entered into them, God had created a world in which no such corruption existed nor was ever found within mankind for it was a pure world filled with only light, life, peace, contentment, tranquility, happiness, and a perfect and uninterrupted and unhindered harmony between God, man, and nature but that all ended when the first man Adam and the first woman Eve being Adam’s wife committed the one act of disobedience that changed the once good world into the world that we presently know and that was the eating of a fruit from a certain tree called the knowledge of good and evil, having been warned of God that in the day that they ate of that forbidden fruit, they would surely die (Gen. 2:16-17, 3:3) and instead of heeding that warning, they instead heeded the seducing voice of a lying spirit who came to them in the form of a serpent which falsely assured them that they would not surely die if they ate of that forbidden fruit but instead, they would become more enlightened and more powerful than they already were. (Gen. 3:4-5)
 
That lying spirit, before he had ever spoken his first lie, was a certain angel called Lucifer who had once served as a covering cherub at the throne of God but was, along with all who sided with him, cast from his place in Heaven when he thought to make himself equal with God and even be God himself (Is. 14:11-21, Ezek. 28:12-19) and it was in that day that Lucifer became known as Satan or the Devil and it was after he had been cast from his place in Heaven that he crept into the newly created world over which Adam and Eve were given dominion (Gen. 1:26) and came to them in the form of a serpent and told the very lie that led them both into eating of the fruit that they never should have eaten and after they had both eaten of that fruit, (Gen. 3:6) the only thing to which they were enlightened was the shame that now covered their nakedness and instead of becoming divine as the serpent promised them, they became inferior to what they had once been (v. 7) and instead of being spared the sentence of death, the sentence of death of which they were warned was pronounced upon them (Gen. 3:19) and to which they eventually succumbed for in was when they had eaten of that forbidden fruit that sin had entered into them and when sin entered into them, death came with it as well for it is in sin that death has its power but sin is not merely defined by just actions or even speech but it is the inward corrupted condition of our human nature and the sentence of death did not stop with Adam and Eve because the sin that entered into them did not stop with them either as the sin that entered into Adam and Eve after they had eaten of that forbidden fruit also entered into the rest of mankind because it is from Adam and Eve that all of mankind descend and it is from Adam and Eve into whom sin first entered that we receive our inherently inward corrupted nature that is called sin (Rom. 5:12) which is why it is written that we are not defiled by that which is from without but by that which is from within (Mt. 15:11, 17-20) and as a consequence of sin, all people die because, as it is written, the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23) and the lie told to Adam and Eve which caused them to commit the act of disobedience that brought sin and death not only to themselves but to all of us was the first known lie to be told and it was the lie by which Satan was made not only liar and a murderer, but also the father of lies (Jn. 8:44)  and it was also by this lie that he diminished the dominion that was once given to man (Gen. 1:26) and claimed for himself lordship over the nations, kingdoms, empires, and peoples of the earth (Mt. 4:8-9, Lk. 4:6-7) which is why he is called the prince of this world (Jn. 12:31, 16:11) and in doing so has ever through his many devices and temptations increased sin, evil, and death throughout the world and but not only has man through the disobedience of Adam been subjugated to death because of sin, but all of creation itself has also been made to groan and travail in pain to this day because of sin (Rom. 8:19-22) which is why there is so much death, evil, suffering, anguish, misery, grief, and sorrow throughout the world which also makes Satan the thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (Jn. 10:10) and what is even worst of all is that the adversary has caused us through sin to be born estranged from our Creator and because we are inwardly defiled by sin, we will always continue to sin and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23) which is why we can never place our trust in our own merit to gain His favor or to deliver us from the judgment that awaits all sin because our merit is corrupted and defiled by sin that is within us because God requires nothing less than moral perfection which is sinless because God, being without sin and Holy, cannot allow into His Kingdom, which is without sin, anything that is sinful or in sin or else the Kingdom of Heaven would be defiled by the taint of sin just as the earth itself has been defiled but we are not without hope nor are we without redemption for the Lord God Almighty is not willing that any should perish or be sentenced to eternal damnation, but that all would come to repentance (2 Pet. 3:9) and the offer of redemption that God gives is found in none other than the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the only begotten Son of God (Jn. 3:16) and who is Himself God (Jn. 1:1) having come to us in the flesh as a man (Jn. 1:14) to take away the sins of the world which He did by offering Himself up to take upon Himself on our behalf the demanded penalty for all sin which is death and He, being without sin (2 Cor. 5:21, Heb. 4:15) on behalf of sinful man, surrendered Himself to death and to the shedding of His blood upon the cross on which He was crucified and after having purchased our redemption by His death, was raised again from the dead so that we by our faith in Him will be justified in Him (Rom. 4:25) if we will but call upon His name so that we might be saved from what would otherwise be a terrifying everlasting punishment if we will but call upon His name (Rom. 10:9, 13) and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead (Rom. 10:9) for it is by calling upon His name in sincere repentance that salvation is granted and our souls made clean from sin thereby liberating us from the threat of eternal damnation and with that cleansing comes a new spiritual transformation (2 Cor. 5:17) that causes us to no longer desire to follow after selfish and worldly pursuits but after those things that pertain to the Kingdom of Heaven,
to no longer take pleasure in those things that are evil and displeasing in the sight of the Lord, but in that which is good, right, and pleasing in His sight,
to no longer desire to walk in the lies of this present world, but only in the truth that comes from Christ Almighty, (Jn. 14:6) no longer placing our hopes in the things of this present world, but looking forward to that new and better world to come, (Rev. 21-22)
to no longer rely on worldly resources, men, or even our own power, abilities, skills, and wisdom for our needs and provision but upon God who is able to meet all of our needs, (Mt. 6:33) recognizing that the resources of this world and even the people He brings into our lives are but instruments and vessels through which God meets our needs and that the skills, power, knowledge, and wisdom by which we might acquire our provision are provided and instilled in us by God,
to no longer fear what men can do to us, but rather fearing the God before whom we will have to one day give an account for how we lived our lives, (Mt. 10:28)
to no longer look to corruptible institutions within our society for direction and order in our lives but to God who, by His written Word has given us laws and precepts to be applied to our lives and which serve to produce and maintain an ordered life, and who, by His Holy Spirit which comes to dwell within us upon repentance, establishes in our lives a course and direction in our lives to pursue for His glory,
to no longer seek our own glory but the glory of God,
to no longer rally behind corruptible men, but instead behind the incorruptible God in Heaven bearing in mind that those men and women God raises up for our edification are but instruments and servants of His for that respective purpose to which He has called them,
to no longer seek to align ourselves with the things of darkness but only with the things of the light,
to no longer trust in the wisdom of the world but only on the wisdom and knowledge that comes from above, (Jas. 1:5) nor depend on corruptible earthly authorities to swiftly administer justice, but only in the power of God to deliver us from evil.
 
And it is this new inward transformation that reconciles us to our Creator (2 Cor. 5:18) from whom we had once been estranged and just as our souls are cleansed from sin and our spirits regenerated in Christ Jesus thereby liberating us from the eternal tormenting punishment that must come upon all who remain in their sins and it is this very change, if received by enough people, that potentially can bring about a change for the better in entire households in the manner of how they are run and maintained, and from there, the nature and condition of entire neighborhoods, communities, states/provinces, and entire nations, which then will have an impact and an affect upon the course of the culture and society; how education is taught, how businesses and corporations are operated, how news is reported, the quality and nature of entertainment that is produced, and finally how politics and civic governance are conducted.
 
And just as our souls have been cleansed from sin by Christ and have been inwardly transformed by that cleansing, so one day we will also be liberated from bodily death when that in which sin dwells is transformed into an incorruptible (1 Cor. 15:51-55, 1 Thess. 4:13-18) form in which dwells no sin for where there is no sin, there is no death and finally, creation itself will be liberated from the curse that came upon it because of sin when Satan is finally cast out of this world and faces his final defeat and delivered his final sentence (Rev. 20:10-15) and then afterward, creation will be made anew when this present creation is done away with and a new heaven and a new earth are put in its place in which there will be no sin, evil, death, decay, grief, sorrow, suffering, hardship, misery, or adversity of any kind but only goodness, light, life, peace, happiness, joy, harmony, and contentment before the Lord God Almighty. (Rev. 21-22)
 
Reader, if you have not already done so and wish to become a better person, I urge you to call upon the name of the Lord Jesus today for the forgiveness of sins.  It is but a sincere heartfelt prayer of repentance away:
 
 
 
"Lord Jesus I need you.
 
 
I realize that I am a sinner
who has fallen short of the glory of God
and that my goodness falls short
of your standard of Moral perfection.
 
Please forgive me of all of my sins.
Come into my heart and into my life
to be the Savior and Lord of my life.
Make me into the servant and follower
that you want me to be.
In your name Lord Jesus, I pray.
 
 
Amen."
 
 
Know that God is not concerned with the words that you use to call upon Him forgiveness, but with the attitude of your heart and if you have, with all sincerity, have asked Christ to forgive you of your sins, placing your trust in Him only for your salvation and in nothing else, then your sins are forgiven and your place in Heaven is certain.
 
 
 
End notes:
 
 
 
1.  Vivek Singh, “Why Men Avoid Single Mothers,” News Of X,  March 31, 2024
https://web.archive.org/web/20240331152723/https://newsofx2.com/2024/03/31/why-men-avoid-single-mothers/
 
 
 
Scripture references:
 
 
 
1.  Matthew 19:4-6
 
2.  Genesis 2:18
 
3.  Matthew 22:37-38
 
4.  Matthew 22:39-40
 
5.  Matthew 19:9
 
6.  1 Corinthians 5:17
 
7.  Genesis 2:16-17, 3:3
 
8.  Genesis 3:4-5
 
9.  Isaiah 14:11-29, Ezekiel 28:12-19
 
10.  Genesis 3:6
 
11.  Genesis 3:7
 
12.  Genesis 3:19
 
13.  Romans 5:12
 
13.  Matthew 15:11, 17-20
 
14.  Romans 6:23
 
15.  John 8:44
 
16.  Genesis 1:26
 
17.  Matthew 4:8-9, Luke 4:6-7
 
18.  John 12:31, 16:11
 
19.  Romans 8:19-22
 
20.  John 10:10
 
21.  Romans 3:23
 
22.  2 Peter 3:9
 
23.  John 3:16
 
24.  John 1:1
 
25.  John 1:14
 
26.  2 Corinthians 5:21, Hebrews 4:15
 
27.  Romans 4:25
 
28.  Romans 10:9, 13
 
29.  2 Corinthians 5:17
 
30.  Matthew 6:33
 
31.  John 14:6
 
32.  Revelation 21-22
 
33.  Matthew 6:25-33
 
34.  Matthew 10:28
 
35.  James 5:1
 
36.  2 Corinthians 5:18
 
37.  1 Corinthians 15:51-55, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
 
38.  Revelation 20:10-15